Alright, this is part II of the blog post, DATING: The Message, The Issue, The Solution!

Read it HERE

Originally Post in 2015, Updated 2023

 Dating isn’t easy and with holidays like Valentine’s Day can trigger unwanted feelings and reminders of your dating status. Whether you are single or struggling to end a relationship that is no longer serving you, I got you, sis!

I asked married women in HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS (that’s important) how they knew their husband was the one and created a list of 10 qualities that will let them know if he’s worth your time. I recommend you read, the list I created to know if he’s wasting your time, first. Dating: The Message, The Issue, The Solution.

READ It HERE

I got you, sis!

10 Ways to Know He’s the One!

1. You Won’t Have to Guess How He Feels About You: If he leaves you confused, that is not it. He will make his intentions known. You won’t doubt or question his desire for you.

“He pursued me and made it known that he wanted more than just a friendship with me.” – 

A. Willoughby, Maryland

2. You Won’t Feel like It’s the End, Every Time You Argue: This was big for me. Every time I argued with a man, it was over soon after. It left me feeling I couldn’t be honest without risking the whole relationship. With my husband, it never felt like that. He always wanted to talk it out and see how we come to an understanding.

3. You Won’t Have to Change Who You Are or Work For His Love/Commitment: He will love you for you. Nothing you can do (gain weight, get sick) will change how he feels.

“He showed me what real love truly is, means and how it truly feels. Not what the world calls love, but the love God adds to a union truly ordained by Him.”

–  R. Doucet, Texas

4. You Won’t Feel Ashamed of Who You Are And What You Like ( Spirituality, hobbies, quirks, family, friends, that extra toe on your right foot):  He will appreciate and encourage ALL of you. Most of all, you won’t have to dumb down your spirituality, intelligence, and accomplishments to make him comfortable. He will celebrate them.

5. He Will Boost Your Self-Worth Not Tear It Down: Have you heard women contest when they are around their man, they feel like the most beautiful woman in the world? You will feel beautiful on your worse day.

6. He Will Genuinely Care About All Of You (well-being, emotions, goals): He will be concerned about the internal parts of you too. You can share your deepest feelings, and he will care even if it seems futile.

“When we would talk he would always ask, how I was. He would always ask how I was feeling, what’s on my mind… how this situation makes me feel?” – 

Kendra, Maryland

7. He Will Respect Your Boundaries: He will not pressure you about things that are against your morals and beliefs.

8. He Will Desire to Take Care of You In Every Way: I mean, Spiritually, Financially, Physically, and Emotionally. Plain and simple. It doesn’t mean he will be good at all of those things, but he will desire to and be willing to grow.

“When dating, ask yourself is this relationship my BEST YES physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally?”-

 J. Flowers, Fort Worth

9. His Qualities and Character Will Speak for Themselves: You won’t have to make excuses for him. I’m reminded of the time when I was dating someone and I found myself boasting of his good qualities, hoping no one paid attention to the poor ones. You won’t have to do that. Again, it doesn’t mean, he will be perfect but you don’t have to settle for someone’s potential.

10. It Will be Peaceful and Natural: I said peaceful, not easy. There will be arguments, disagreements, and hiccups, but it will be a healthy balance between them. Most importantly, you will have peace in the decision you make.

“We shared the same sense of humor. By the end of the night (first date), we already had inside jokes. After the first date, we were inseparable. I knew by the end of the week, we would be long term.”

–  A. Dye, Texas

Don’t be afraid to pray for what you want in your husband. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to ask God for what you need. I talk more about how to do this the right way in the upcoming free, virtual workshop, The Wait is Over. Be sure to sign up for that! It’s happening on February 23rd!

With that being said, every married woman who contributed to this blog can attest there are still great men out there. When you meet him, you won’t remember or care about the ones who walked away. Women have more power than we give ourselves credit. James Brown proclaimed, “This is a man’s world.” However, he followed up with this, “But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing without a woman…”

Let me know if I need to add more in the comment below and I will do a part II.

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A special thank you to all the women who contributed. I definitely couldn’t have written this without your input, Destiny Oribabhor (https://destinyiyere.wordpress.com/ ), Eunique Loggins, Kendra Feaster, Shaina Eden Thomas, AlexandraWilloughby, Jordan Flowers (http://www.fitbyjordan.blogspot.com/), Catrina Banks, Sherika Thomas, Jessica Bowers, Adrian Caston Dye, Rachel Doucet, Jessica Coleman, Jessica Brown, Tiffany Johnson, Queen Evans

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