33

 

I’m 33 today!
On this day last year, I was going through my first miscarriage. It was devastating. My 32nd birthday propelled me into one of the darkest years of my life. I can’t even begin to describe the pain. The only people who seem to fathom the depths are those who have had the same experience. There are far too many of us too. I would go on to have another miscarriage a few months later. That one took me to the darkest place. In that place, I discovered there is beauty in darkness. I think of a diamond being refined; a brutal process before anyone notices its beauty or shine. In those dark moments, I met Jesus. I knew Him before but not on this level. This is a new relationship for me. I had to learn to trust Him again. I am still learning. In fact, it is a daily challenge.

In darkness, I learned to see people.

I remember walking through the grocery store, barely able to hold it together mentally. I was still physically going through the miscarriage. People passed by me, and I kept thinking no one could see how much pain I was in. I wondered how many times I passed by someone not knowing they were battling cancer, just lost their parent, has a sick child, going through a divorce, battling depression, trying not to take another drink, shoot another needle or take another pill. We walk by these people daily, but they are another face in the crowd. Sometimes not even a face at all.

In darkness, I learned it is okay to be vulnerable but not with everyone.

For one, everyone is not equipped for your journey. I learned to look around and recognize who my true army is.

In darkness, I learned not everyone wants to see you win.

I knew this before, but it was reiterated this year. I’m reminded of the quote by Maya Angelou, “when people show you who they are, believe them.” People will look like they have your best interest, but then something happens. You will know because there will be an inkling that something isn’t quite right with them. Then, they will do something or say something that completely baffles you. Do not try to figure it out, be thankful for the confirmation.

In darkness, I learned you have to be true to yourself and protect this.

People will criticize you for being who you are. Sometimes, the very thing people try to change in you or criticize you for is the very thing God wants to use. Also, comparison will creep in and make you question yourself. Don’t. Remain true to who God created you to be. You will never regret authenticity.

In darkness, I learned not to rush my healing.

The process hurts, and you want to numb it. The best thing to do is to face it and embrace not being okay. It is okay not to be okay.

I thank God as I entered 33, I have come out of my darkness with a vengeance for the meaningful things in life. I dance every morning because it makes me happy. When I hesitate to pray for something, I know it means I must pray about it. I focus on what makes me happy and what makes me feel good because all the rest is irrelevant.
Living my best life,
Ebby

Why Black Panther is Important

 I remember sitting in American History class. My high school was predominantly white with maybe 30% or less minority population. I sat next to the only other black person in the classroom.

We flipped through the history book and found the section of African American history. I am not exaggerating, out of a 400-page book, we had one chapter and it was maybe three pages long.

Can you imagine being a young American black girl discovering who you are and trying figure out your place in the world to discover ONLY three pages of people who look like you? 

Society does a great job perpetuating images and standards of beauty many cannot live up to, especially black women. Much of my childhood came with hating the way I looked and wishing I wasn’t black. Feeling cursed because my hair felt different and my skin was too dark.

I used to play pretend with my friends and cousins; we would pretend we were white. White people were beautiful. They were models. They were on the front cover of magazines. They were leading ladies in the movies, especially the romantic ones. They were Disney princesses.

By the way, I was an adult when the first black Disney princess was created. 

I recall a time in high school when a Hispanic boy asked the only two or three black girls in class why black girls didn’t have hair. Too many of us had breakage and short hair because our parents were taught to tame our afros, coils, and curls by putting a chemical in our hair to permanently strengthen it.

I was twenty-four when I discovered the real texture of my hair. Even now, I find myself defending the stigma that my hair is ugly in its natural state. I have to protect the image of my puffy afro from people trying to convince me I am more beautiful when my hair is straight.

So what does all this have to do with a Black superhero from Wakanda? 

Majority of black representation on the big screen is often extreme stereotypes, sometimes perpetuated by our own people. The only “real” black movies with people that look like me were gangster life in the hood or slavery. None of which I could relate to.

But, Black Panther is a superhero. What does that have to do with black culture?

It is the representation that being black can be cool. It is the celebrations of black roots and black culture without being slaves or poor. It is the idea that dark skin is beautiful. That kinky, coily hair is fashionable and attractive.

It is the image of black women being celebrated and regarded as crucial characters in a plot and not the side-kick of the leading white girl or white man. It is dark black skin being the majority in the movie and not just the token black man in a cast to represent “diversity.” 

Many may not comprehend the importance of black culture, our need to be celebrated or our need to be represented, not only in history books but in the media, in cartoons, and in movies.

After all, they were not the young girl questioning her beauty and the worth of her people.

Oh, how that has changed. Now, we are dark-skinned warriors, a part of a rich society the rest of the world does not even compare to. We are superheroes!

 

Ebby LeBlanc

International Women’s Day

 

Recently, last year to be exact, I heard about this holiday, which is surprising because it began in 1909. Incredibly, it is celebrated all over the world!

This past Saturday, I was blessed to see a vision that I’ve had for years come to fruition. The vision was to see  women of diverse nationalities at a tea party, enjoying one another’s company. I am so thankful to be a part of a multicultural church, who believed in that vision too.

Our speaker on Saturday, Karen Harmon, www.karenharmon360.com, shared with us some poignant aspect of being a woman, especially a Christian woman. One of the pieces I’d like to highlight is a prayer that women will begin to see each other as sisters and not as threats, that we won’t be so quick to judge another woman who is not like us, and that we will celebrate one another in all of differences and uniqueness.

I’m thankful for all the diverse women God has allowed me to meet at my church, in the community, and on the blogosphere.

Happy International Women’s day to all the beautiful women, who are unafraid to chase their dreams, no matter how big they are, and in spite of the many times she was told, it can’t be done!

-Your moment is now,

Ebby ♥


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REBLOG: Tough Questions: Are You a Feminist?

What began as a simple question for a fellow blogger, “are you a feminist,” evolved into an amazing post that just happen to reiterate why all women should be feminist.

Everything and Nothing

Life is pretty amazing. How you ask?
I learnt the last few days I spent smart phone less that my brain,
is way more functional than I give it credit for.
Also that aside from keeping me in the dark about people’s business that’s always front and center on social media I can survive outside of the superficial world smart phones created..
Point is its good to be back..

So again I say life is amazing but this isn’t about life and all the amazeballness  it carries around.
This is about answering questions raised by her Royal
Inspirer my fave blog buddy who takes this more seriously than me.
Her name is Atim and she blogs at Atim’s Thoughts.

She nominated me for the Sisterhood Blog Award. Part of her job as nominator is to ask me 10 questions and my job is to answer them..
This nomination was…

View original post 836 more words

Loving Me Daily Series: Be Flawless

Journey to Loving Me, Daily Series

A famous passage that I’m sure you’re familiar with, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate but we are powerful beyond measure.”  A few lines down is the part I want to highlight, “….We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.” Marianne Williamson

I loathed when people claim someone is too confident.

Yes, I know there are people in the world that are annoyingly into themselves and unduly conceited.

That’s not who I’m talking about. I’m talking about the people who know their worth, know who they are, know what they want and do not apologize or dumbed themselves down for it.

Being confidence isn’t a bad thing. It only becomes negative when you begin to treat others or believe others are in some way below you. In fact, I believe

it is important for a woman to enter a room and feel she is the most beautiful woman in the room.

She does not feel this because she is vainly comparing herself to other women. No, she feels this way because she knows who she is and that is what makes her beautiful. Zora Neele Hurston once said, “Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.” Imagine, if we could all be that confident in ourselves in a healthy, balanced way.

This week’s challenge, Be Flawless!

Take the time to look good for you! Do your hair and make up extra cute! Get dolled up for no reason!

Be Fabulous!

Be Flawless!!!!

Most importantly be YOU and do not apologize for it! Don’t forget to take that Selfie! #LovingMeDailyBeingFlawless. Make it public so I can tag you on the Facebook page.

 

Living in the Moment,

Ebby Lane

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