I turned 30, this is what I learned in my 20’s!

I turned “the dirty 30” on Sunday! Whoop Whoop! It was undeniably a momentous occasion and not just because it was my 30th. It was momentous because it was the first birthday that I can honestly say, the wishes I’d made at my previous birthdays while blowing out the candles on the cake had come true. Many people cannot say that at 30. Truth be told, my generation is rather delayed when it comes to being independent from our parents and being pretty much an adult, but that’s for another blog. I am so thankful to God for that experience. For me, thirty marks not only an ending to the years in my twenties, but a new beginning as well. I feel real grown woman right now; something I didn’t feel in my twenties. In addition, I feel like I know myself so much more and that is an incredible feeling in itself. So, here’s my list of 30 things I’ve learned while in my twenties.




1.       It is okay not to know everything – Give yourself some time; Geesh, you’re in your twenties!


2.       Think less and live more- this is for the people like me that live in their heads and forget to live outside of their own thoughts.


3.       Piggybacking off of number two, don’t let anyone put you in a box eitherIf you are awkward, or “different” own it!


4.       Do what makes you happyThis is your life!


5.       Just because you’re not very good at it, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it/ go after itPeople aren’t great due to mere talent; most often they had to practice a lot to master their craft. Do you know how many people God used who weren’t qualified?!


6.       Don’t be afraid to make mistakesThere are a lot of things I wanted to do that I didn’t because I thought it was a slim chance I’d succeed at it. In addition, there were things I accomplished because I took risk.


7.       Learn from your mistakes


8.       You’re probably going to date someone, look back and think, “what the hell was I thinking?”


9.       You’re going to do some things you never thought you’d do and think to yourself, “why did I do that?” 


10.   True friends are not afraid to tell you about yourself.


11.   Accept people for who they are This is a big one!


12.   Be yourself even if people don’t like it


13.   Life isn’t fair A LOT of times Keeping fighting and don’t lose faith


14.   Don’t be afraid to date – Notice I said date, not sleep around. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!!!


15.   Don’t date the potential of a person, date the person you cannot date a playa’ and expect him to miraculously turn faithful


16.    You cannot change people so don’t try!


17.   Do things for people without always expecting something in return


18.   Don’t be so hard on yourself You’re still learning yourself


19.   Its not that serious – It may feel like it while you are in it but the world is not over


20.   Don’t do it just because everyone else is doing it, do it cause you want to – this goes for going to college, marriage, babies, career. Create your own lane


21.   Don’t forget to have fun while you are trying to figure it all out – I spent way too much time being down and out because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life


22.   Travel before the marriage and kids I wish I would have listened to this advice sooner


23.   Build long lasting friendships with the same-sex they are essential in many ways even after marriage


24.   Learn to love yourself outside of the opinion of others. Someone shouldn’t have to tell you you’re beauty for you to know it


25.   Learn to enjoy your own company


26.   Don’t wait around for a man/woman, continue to live your life


27.   There a big change your friend circle will change in two ways by end of your twenties different set of people, smaller circle


28.   Do not compare yourself to others!!!!  –Unless it is mechanism for growth. For example, I aspire to be a bestselling novelist like Toni Morrison someday.


29.   Don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself especially at your job you don’t have to be disrespectful, but it is not okay to let people run over you


30.   Don’t obsess over a timeline I’m a perfectionist and this was the biggest struggle.


There’s more that I could add. Let me know what you have learned or are still learning in your twenties!




-Ebby Lane

4 responses to “I turned 30, this is what I learned in my 20’s!”

  1. I think about ten of the things you listed up there. I am in my twenties, pretty much an overthinker… very different, and my own kind of person. Sometimes, it feels good– I tell myself, “hey it is perfectly okay to do you!” but other times, I can’t help it. There’s what the family thinks, what society thinks, what people are saying, what your head wants, and what your heart’s pinning for… it is a struggle! A damning not-so-trifling struggle… but I realise “we live to learn, and we learn to live”, so maybe consciousness will heal me, or at least take me down that path of redemption and being. Right now, I am just a chunk of be-comings– but I hope to get to that stage of self-acceptance and appreciation someday. Slowly, but surely.

    Thank you for sharing ma’am! <3

    • It is definitely a process and sometimes, you’ll have to catch yourself from reverting back to that place. However, in our twenties we are way too hard on ourselves. We want to be self assured and know ourselves fully, not realizing that those are attributes that can take a lifetime to master. So, it goes back to giving yourself props for being better at it today than you were yesterday. You are a truly gifted writer by the way. You have a way with words even in your comments that sets you apart. I absolutely love your writing style.

  2. Wonderful and Inspiring. I turned 30 a year ago but some of the tips still apply to me. I especially love that one about traveling before marriage and kids.I need to travel some more this year 🙂

    • Please do, Diana! Of course it is still possible,but so much more difficult afterwards. Don’t get me started on last minute road trips and weekend getaways which use to be so random and often for me. Lol

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