This is 40: 40 Things I’ve Learned

1. Joy Doesn’t Wait and Neither Should You.
For years, I thought joy would arrive after the blessing: after marriage, after motherhood, after life finally made sense. But joy doesn’t wait for perfect conditions. It’s available right now. It’s a daily decision, not a delayed reward. Choose it today.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Get It Wrong.
This one’s worth repeating from my 30s list: You’re going to get it wrong sometimes because you’re human. Don’t let fear of failure paralyze you. The world already brings enough pressure; don’t add more by demanding perfection. Give yourself grace, daily.

3. You don’t have to feel guilty for the season you’re in.
Resting? Grinding? Deep in mommy-mode or building your dream career? Whether you’re single, married, social, or a homebody, embrace your season. It’s yours for a reason. Embrace it, sis!

4. You can hold two truths at once.
Life is layered. I grieved deeply for my daughter while celebrating the birth of my son. Pain and joy can coexist. Your story doesn’t have to be either-or. It can be both-and.

5.Consistency is not one size fits all.
What works in her house might not work in yours. Your career rhythm may look different from your best friend’s. Your kids may need a different parenting approach than you planned. Consistency isn’t about copying, it’s about creating routines that honor your capacity, your season, and your calling.

6. Every friend serves a different purpose.

As you grow, your circle may shrink and shift, and that’s not a loss, it’s alignment. Some friends hold you accountable. Some pray with you. Some are for fun and laughter. Others help you dream and plan. Knowing who’s who protects your peace and helps you avoid placing expectations where they don’t belong.

7. Don’t make major decisions within 7 days of your cycle.
Sis, your hormones are not always your friend. In fact, they’re more like frenemies. HA!  They can’t be trusted when they heighten. Give it a week. You’ll see things clearly, trust me. I even made a whole YouTube video about this one! (Be sure to subscribe to the channel)

8.Stop breaking promises to yourself.
This one’s from a blog I wrote years ago, and it still hits hard. I first heard it while reading Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis and it stopped me in my tracks. I realized I was great at showing up for others or work, but terrible at showing up for me. I’d say I’d eat healthier… and quit by day three. Promise to write daily… then never open my journal. Keeping promises to myself has been a daily practice, but it’s changed everything. It’s helped me feel more grounded and actually reach the goals that matter to me. I’m still working on this one in certain areas. LOL!

9. Being emotional is a superpower.
I’m a crybaby, y’all. I cry when I’m happy, when I’m sad, and sometimes just because the wind hits me a certain way. I used to feel embarrassed by it, but now I see it for what it is: sensitivity that keeps me in tune with God, with people, and with myself.

10. You can operate in the Spirit for things that don’t seem “spiritual.”
The Holy Spirit isn’t limited to church settings. You can be Spirit-led in business, parenting, meal planning, conflict resolution, and even vacation decisions. God cares about it all. This is one of my favorite lessons.

11. Taking care of you isn’t selfish.
You can’t pour from an empty vessel. Resting, nourishing your body, saying no, or taking a break is not neglecting others; it’s honoring what God entrusted to you: you. Schedule a break daily.

12. Boundaries are protection, not punishment.
They’re not walls to push people away. They’re fences that keep your peace, your values, and your energy safe. Boundaries are an act of love for you and them.

13. Have the hard conversations.
This is hard for those of us who dislike conflict. Have those conversations, especially in your marriage.  Avoidance costs more than honesty. Healing, clarity, and restoration often live on the other side of uncomfortable conversations. Say what needs to be said with grace and truth. Don’t forget to season it with sugar and respect.

14. Don’t aim to be the “best” employee at the cost of yourself.
I learned this one the hard way. Chasing praise, gold stars, and recognition can leave you burnt out and underappreciated. Often, the “best” employee ends up doing their job and someone else’s, too. Protecting your peace may mean setting boundaries, stepping on a few toes, or not being the office favorite. And that’s okay. Respect yourself enough to draw the line.

15. Balance is a myth.
I spent years chasing “balance” like it was a destination, only to realize it doesn’t really exist. Even when life feels settled, something shifts. Routines change. We grow. What worked 10 minutes ago might not work now. So instead of chasing balance, I’ve learned to chase Jesus. He is the source. My prayer is simple: Lord, where are You in this moment? How should I respond? Sometimes I get it right. Sometimes I don’t. But grace meets me every time.

16. Schedule breaks before burnout.
Rest isn’t a reward. You don’t have to earn it. Build rest into your rhythm before your body forces you to.

17. Be mindful of what truly matters.
If it won’t matter next week, next month, or next year, don’t give it your peace today. Protect your energy like it’s sacred because it is.

18. Guard your time like you guard your heart.
People will assume your time is available just because you’re home or off the clock. But your day off is still your day. Your kid-free moment still belongs to you. Turn off the notifications. Don’t check work emails on weekends. And yes, leave that text unread if needed. Time boundaries are life-giving.

19. Focus on what you can do.
Shifting your lifestyle doesn’t have to feel like punishment. Focus on what brings you joy, what nourishes you, what’s working. What can you say yes to? That’s where the change begins.

20. You really are what you think…and what you eat.
I’m still in the shifting phase of this one, but I declare it daily: “I am a healthy person.” In the last year, I’ve lost 30 pounds not just from eating better, but from thinking better. Don’t tell me words aren’t powerful.

21. Real change is about being, not becoming.
It’s less about who you’re trying to become and more about showing up as who you already are. Start living from that place now.

22. Intentionality will change your life.
You have more power than you think. Small, intentional choices stack up. Don’t underestimate the shift that happens when you decide to live on purpose.

23. Mute the noise.
Silence the expectations, outdated routines, and voices that no longer serve your current season. Don’t forget to mute the noise in your own mind. Peace often comes in the quiet.

24. Playing small is disobedience.
You don’t need permission to be who God called you to be. You’ve played small long enough. In fact, God never asked us to play small. Walk boldly in your God-given authority. You really are that woman.

25. This is temporary.
The good, the challenging, the busy, the brain fog, the exhaustion: it won’t last forever. Let that truth ground you when things feel heavy.

26. If everyone likes you, you’re likely losing yourself.
Trying to be everything to everyone will leave you empty. Authenticity isn’t always widely accepted, but it’s worth it. Unsubscribe from this form of people-pleasing.

27. Embrace grace.
I refuse to be shackled by shame from my past. I won’t drag old versions of myself into new seasons, and no one else gets to either. You don’t get to remind me of how I used to be, and I don’t either.

28. Mistakes are part of the plan.
Sometimes, I’ll get it wrong. And that’s okay. God already made provision for my detours. He goes before me.

29. Your words carry weight.
Even simple phrases like “I’m always tired” can shape your reality. Speak life even in casual moments.

30. Matching energy is a maturity thing.
I used to match energy with my friends and even my hubby. (Thank God for growth) If you were distant, so was I. But I’ve grown. I’m thankful for a husband who doesn’t match my energy. I’m thankful my friends don’t always mirror my moods. Sometimes I’m not the best at calling back, returning favors, or being available, and sometimes I am. Sometimes, I’m overstimulated just being mommy, and that’s all I’ve got that day. I’m thankful for connections where we see each other beyond the moment and we adjust our expectations with love and give each other space to just be.

31. Mind your household.
What works in someone else’s home may be a total disaster in yours. Comparison will have you adopting chaos. Stay anchored in what works for your family.

32. Get your hobbies back.
Not everything has to be for growth or opportunity. Society will try to turn every joy into a hustle. Some things should simply be for fun, and that’s more than enough.

33. I don’t have to know the why.
Losing my daughter, Journey, taught me this deeply. I may never understand the “why,” but I’ve learned to trust anyway.

34. I don’t need to know “the how” either.
Each of my children is living proof. God made a way, even when I couldn’t see one. He made ways I never even fathom. Someday, I will share the story of my second daughter.

35. Embrace the disruptions.
Some of my best ideas come in the middle of the night, right after a tiny foot kicks me in the back and knocks me out of a good sleep. I used to be annoyed, but now I get it. There’s beauty in the interruptions… once you let go of the inner tantrum.

36. Stop adding punctuation where God already spoke.
If God put a period, don’t add a comma. If He’s ready to release a “suddenly,” don’t slow it down with a question mark. Let that settle in your spirit.

37. Soak more, speak less.
In His presence, you don’t always need words. Pause. Be in the moment. Make room to sit and soak.

38. You can ask for signs and wonders.
He’s still the God of miracles. Ask Him. Expect Him. He delights in revealing Himself.

39. There is power in a Bible-based, Spirit-led church home.
Yes, church can happen in your living room, but don’t underestimate the power of showing up and growing with a faith-filled community. Your church family is still a gift. I absolutely love my church family!

40. You don’t have to be great at everything.
We live in a world that constantly pushes us to “do more” and “learn more.” But here’s your permission slip: if it’s not your gift, outsource it. You’re not less holy because you don’t cook, clean, or organize like a pro. That’s what apps, services, and community are for. Let go of the guilt and embrace the help. Soft life activated.