This letter popped up in my Facebook feed about a week ago. Sometimes, those Facebook memories can be triggers, and sometimes, they can be sweet memories. This one, in particular, was bittersweet. We had no idea at the time that we would only have three more weeks with our sweet girl before our lives were forever changed.

My sweet girl’s birthday is this week. She would have been turning 4. I wanted to post this letter as a tribute to her.

A Letter From Husband:
A Tribute to Our Late Daughter,
Journey Faith

Dear Wife,
I wanted to tell you something that’s been weighing on my heart for a while now,
I have been cheating on you,
I have spent so many days and nights with a mountain of what ifs, when’s, and why’s,
Stealing late-night glances,
While sharing smiles that no one sees,
I have, in private, wept at the very sound of her name,
And light up with the shear thought of her presence,
God knows I didn’t want to tell you this way,
But through this Journey called marriage, you have had so much Faith in me,
And in you, I have found peace,
Like putting a round peg through a square hole,
You have centered me in a world where anger, wrath, and deceit are fixed tools for any problem,
You have laughed with me when no one else would,
Cried for me when I, myself, was out of tears of my own,
We have filled nights with laughter while no one was there,
And danced while the throws of the world carried on in a cycle as day turned to night and began again,
It’s to you I own an apology because after seeing her, it was love at first sight,
And I knew it was only a matter of time before you discovered my love affair,
So as I spend long days and nights on cloud nine,
Each day I wake up anticipating every second,
Every second, as it folds into an infinity that is deeper than the deepest chasm,
Each night I calculate the minutes,
Minutes that seem as though a lifetime is closer than this,
I am sorry, my dear wife, for this and more,
But understand my love for you is unwavering,
But there is a new girl in my life that will call me daddy, and she will call you mommy,
And like the birth of our son, the thought of her fills me with something no single man-made word could describe,
Fear,
Apprehension,
Joy,
Pride,
Happiness,
And an emotion that I can only equate to a fraction of the love that God has for our family!
Love,
Your Husband