I had to reblog and share this because too many times people make comments and ask questions devoid of the pain behind them. Many times a woman delay in pregnancy is not her immediate choice. People may mean well but should think twice before asking someone when they will have children, get married, do…you feel in the blank. This blog articulates why you should think before asking and reiterates how its none of your business anyway.
Somewhere there is a woman: 30, no children. People ask her, “Still no kids?” Her response varies from day to day, but it usually includes forced smiles and restraint.
“Nope, not yet,” she says with a chuckle, muffling her frustration.
“Well, don’t wait forever. That clock is ticking, ya know,” the sage says before departing, happy with herself for imparting such erudite wisdom. The sage leaves. The woman holds her smile. Alone, she cries…
Cries because she’s been pregnant 4 times and miscarried every one. Cries because she started trying for a baby on her wedding night, and that was 5 years ago. Cries because her husband has an ex-wife and she has given him children. Cries because she wants desperately to try in vitro but can’t even afford the deposit. Cries because she’s done in vitro (multiple rounds) and still has no children. Cries because her best friend wouldn’t…
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There’s another one I don’t think was mentioned: Cries because she made a conscious choice not to have kids, because it’s not something she wanted or thought she’d be good at, and people denigrate her for that choice, as if she’s somehow ‘less’ because that was her decision.
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That’s a good one! I know people who have made that choice and I commend them for knowing what they desire and not bending for society.
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This couldn’t be any more true!
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I agree!
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This post is everything! I’ve been married 10 years, we’re 35 and still not sure if we want children. I’ve had some health issues that may make pregnancy a nightmare and my husband and I are perfectly content with each other. The comments and intrusive questions can be annoying and painful. It can be an emotional roller coaster at times, but I believe what will be will be. I wish more people understood that my womb is mine and my husband’s business… no one else’s. Thanks for re-blogging!
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I’ve had health issues as well and it would hurt when people asked when we were having a baby. It was already difficult for us to deal with ourselves. At the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter to anyone else when or how many kids one decides to have or not have. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
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