Dear Journey: A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Journey,

You were but a fleeting moment in our lives but girl, you left a huge impact. You were born at one pound and one ounce but did not allow your size to stifle you. Because of your existence, I am no longer the same woman. I never knew my own strength until you. I peer into the mirror and I have never loved more the reflection of the woman I am now. My sweet daughter, you will forever be the better part of me. I will never forget the amazing impact you had on everyone who followed our story. Though I will never be able to hold you again, I am thankful that I carried you when your heartbeat for the first time and I held you in my arms when it beat for the very last time. You knew my voice and smelled my scent as you took your last breath. You were surrounded by love from the very beginning and I know you felt it.
I cry for the moments I will never have with you. I will never see you take your first step. I will never hear your first words. I will never witness your first day of school. I will never see you walk across the stage at your graduation. I will never help you pick out your wedding dress. I will never witness you grow up into the phenomenal woman I know you would have been. For that, my heart will forever ache until the day I take my last breath.
Yet, sweet girl, I cherish the kicks I felt in my womb. You were always moving around. I cherish every time I heard your heartbeat. I got to smell your scent and hold you while your body still had warmth. I got to witness you kick the nurse as she changed your diaper. I saw you grab hold of the Q-tip that fed your tiny belly.

IMG_1678I felt your tiny grip around my finger. I saw your face. You look just like your daddy but you had my nose.
I never imagined I would never get to bring you home, but I’m so thankful for the six months I got to carry you and the three beautiful days I got to witness your huge personality. You weren’t even a few hours old and you were already nicknamed fiesty by every nurse that encountered you. You were determined to live from the very beginning. I’m so thankful that I got those moments with you.
Journey Faith, I will always love you, my sweet daughter. I will never forget you and your memory will be scattered across our lives forever. Thank you for being the perfect daughter. I look forward to the day I get to see you again.

Mommy Loves you,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding” Proverbs 3:5