The Moment in the Moment

Moment is defined as an indefinitely short period of time; instant. My friend, Destiny and I are constantly encouraging each other to, “Stop and smell the roses,” in this life. A few years back we coined the phrase, “the moment in the moment”, a reminder to live each moment of your life in that very moment.


Your Moment is Now,

Ebby Lane

Weekend Edition – Writing is My “Real” Job

I’m always saying how the first step to becoming a writer is acknowledging that you are one. I love how this blogger so eloquently explains this concept.

Live to Write - Write to Live

“Real” is overrated.

pin opinion and perspectiveWhen someone asks what you do, how do you answer? Does the label “writer” trip lightly off the tip of your tongue, or do you keep that identity to yourself and instead talk about your day job? It seems like a small thing, but how we “label” ourselves  – to others and in our own minds – has a big impact on what we believe about ourselves and how we behave.

I actually do make my living as a writer, but the writing that pays my bills is not, in my estimation, “real” writing. When asked what I “do,” I usually say that I’m a messaging strategist and content marketer (and, then I have to explain what the heck that means). Even after nearly a decade of stringing one word after another for cold, hard cash, I still hesitate to grant myself the honorary title of “writer.”…

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Let’s Talk Feminism: Ayesha Curry, “Women are barely wearing clothes these days”

Ayesha Curry, wife of basketball player, Stephen Curry sparked Twitter frenzy over this past weekend with her comment about her preferred style of dress. Her exact words, “Everyone’s into barely wearing clothes these days huh? Not my style. I like to keep the good stuff covered up for the one who matters.” After reading that, I immediately pressed the like button, because I wholeheartedly agree. Women are wearing less and less clothing and some, none at all. Have you seen Miley Cyrus lately? Now, don’t get me wrong, mini dresses are cute and I love the backless shirt/dress thing. However, I do believe the less and less clothing trend is “getting out of hand” for lack of a better phrase.

Many took offense to Ayesha statement, arguing that she was shaming women and suggesting skimpy clothes in some way implies a woman is promiscuous. I didn’t get that from her comment. She merely expressed her preferred style of dress. Nowhere in that tweet is she degrading or shaming women who choose otherwise. That’s the thing about the media and people nowadays; we are easily offended by people who think differently than we do. We perceive their lack of support or difference in opinion as some sort of personal attack. For instance, the #blacklivesmatter, which does not mean people who are not black lives don’t matter. It is simply stating that black lives matter TOO or when America legalized gay marriage and a person didn’t put a rainbow on their profile picture to celebrate, but that’s for another post.

I digress, this conversation reminds me of comment I posted on Facebook a few weeks back about how the more famous a woman becomes, the more naked she seems to get; as if, nakedness equals relevancy. I shouted out Janelle Monae, Heather Headley and even Taylor Swift for not giving into the hype. My comment was in reference to the “Slut Walk” that Amber Rose did, a declaration that it is a woman’s prerogative to be a slut if she wants to be. *insert dropped jaw here* Whether we admit it or not, women in the entertainment industry heavily influence the trends of the everyday woman. Many entertainers attribute the less clothing trend, coinciding with the taboo “Slut Walk” campaign, as a supposed proclamation of female empowerment and feminism. The way I see it, it sounds more like an excuse than a cause. Let’s be real, entertainers like Beyonce, Rihanna, Katy Perry, and Ariana Grande are wearing less clothing because “sex sells” not because of feminism or female empowerment. In addition, majority of women who dress proactively/ skimpy are doing it for attention, mainly attention of men. You can theoretically blame this whole era of getting naked on women’s rights, but at the same time must admit it is still driven by men. Female empowerment? Sounds more like regression to me. Nevertheless, how is this empowering anyhow, promoting the idea that wearing less clothing is somehow embodying feminism, while raising a woman’s chances of being sexually assaulted and/or raped. In addition, encourage women that it is okay to have multiple partners, while making them more susceptible to STD’s and emotional distress. Perhaps, I am being extreme, but how does dressing more proactively or being promiscuous add value to feminism? More importantly, what message are we sending to our little girls who are growing up to believe showing off their bodies leads to success and being promiscuous is just another part of a woman’s freedom.

I get it; we live in an era where women have more control over our own lives, including what we choose to wear, or how little for that matter. I am all for female empowerment, feminism, and not being limited by societal opinions. Now call me old fashion, but is it wrong or in some way destructive to the cause for a woman’s body to be enjoyed by the one who matters, and not her 300,000 followers? Is it damaging or wrong to promote the idea of falling in love before having sex; better yet, marriage before sex? I recall the backlash singer Ciara and football player Russell Wilson received for declaring they are waiting till marriage to have sex, as if their choice was somehow detrimental to society.

Now, a woman has the freedom and choice to dress however she chooses. Likewise, she has the choice to have sex with as many men as she pleases too. Though, I refuse to pardon the whole “slut walk” campaign. That is far from empowering and I am certain even the most non-conservative person would agree. Though, we have the freedom to do these things, should we? And, if it is truly for empowerment or feminism and not some form of attention-seeking or people-pleasing, why not, “keep the good stuff for the one who matters?” Just a thought.

What is your take on Ayesha Curry’s tweet, offensive or taken out of context? Comment below.

Your Moment is now,

Ebby Lane


Journey to Loving me, Daily Update

I mentioned how the 7 Week Journey to Loving me, Daily was interrupted by unforeseen circumstances. However, I had an epiphany. Instead of limiting the journey to 7 weeks, I’ve decided to turn it into a continual series that I will post to periodically. See menu above to be directed to the page.

For Tuesday Blog Day, I have a new post about a topic that has been #trending over the weekend. Stay tuned! Posting tomorrow at 6pm!!!